


A Day in Edo Japan

by SnailFriend



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Comedy, Crack, One-Shot, oscar mayer wiener mobile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 22:40:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17754839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailFriend/pseuds/SnailFriend
Summary: Japan was never one to make a scene. He rarely went out, and he never did anything too attention-grabbing. But all that changed one fateful day in the the capital of the Tokugawa shogunate.





	A Day in Edo Japan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MudaMuda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MudaMuda/gifts).



The capital of the Tokugawa shogunate was a beautiful, if crowded, place. Countless peasants bustled through busy streets as they went about their daily lives. Street vendors fought for attention in an attempt to sell their goods. Women stood close to their husbands as they looked at signs they couldn’t read. Japan loved to walk among his citizens and pretend to be a peasant. He rarely spoke or made purchases, but he was happy nonetheless. He only went out once per year for eliminate any chance of being recognized. It would certainly be a hassle if somebody were to realize what Japan truly was. Luckily, his average appearance made it easy to blend in.  
But one fateful day, he decided to stop blending in.  
He promised himself that it would be a one-time thing. Just one day to let out all of his built-up boredom. He repeated his promise under his breath as he pulled a mask over his face. After a few deep breaths, he gathered his courage and climbed into his bright, shining wiener mobile. He started up the engine and headed for the capital. As peasants entered his field of vision, he lifted a megaphone to his face and began to sing, “O-oh, I wish I were an Oscar M-mayer Wiener...” his voice was shaky and he found it hard to keep hold of the steering wheel. People stared at him with their mouths agape. Some began running away in terror while others passed out from shock.  
“What the hell am I doing?” Japan thought to himself. Sweat poured down his shaking body. “What will my boss think? Why did I think this was a good idea?”  
Just as he was about to turn around and head home, he noticed a small boy staring at him. The kid jumped up and down with a massive grin plastered across his chubby face. His parents seemed less amused, but they weren’t terrified. Japan looked around to see countless more children clapping and laughing with joy. “That’s right,” Japan whispered with a slight smile. “I came here to make people happy. I can’t give up so quickly. He lifted his megaphone back to his masked face and donned an Oscar Mayer branded cap.  
“T-that is what I truly wish to be. ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, everyone would be in love, oh everyone would be in love, everyone would be in love with me!’ His anxiety faded away as he sang out with as more passion and love than a couple on their wedding night. He waved at passing peasants and continued, “Oh, I’m glad I’m not an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I’d never want to be…”  
He reached behind him and pulled out a cooler full of Oscar Mayer wieners. He popped off the lid and tossed them out into the growing crowd. People of all ages rushed to grab the pre-packaged wieners. They inspected the packaging with a mix of confusion and wonder that Japan had never seen before. As he tossed out the last of his precious goods, he noticed that he was headed straight for a cliff. Still, he sang on and kept his course. “‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener-” He pressed down hard on the gas pedal and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. As he felt the wheels roll off the road, he squeezed his eyes shut. Though his face was completely covered, his smile managed to shine through. The beloved wiener mobile began to plummet down the several foot pit, spelling out certain death for both the vehicle and its driver. The crowd gathered at the cliff’s edge. Some covered their mouths, some began to cry, and a few couldn’t bear to watch.  
At the very last moment, Japan pushed a button next to the ignition key. A pair of majestic white wings sprouted from the Oscar Mayer wiener mobile. Within moments, The vehicle flew back up to the cliff’s top. Japan looked back at the amazed looks on his beloved citizen’s faces.  
“-Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, there would soon be nothing left of me!” he belted out. With that, he flew off into the sky.  
The mysterious vehicle was never seen again, and nobody could figure out what to do with the wieners, but the tale of the wonderful man with his majestic steed was passed down for generations

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know if Muda remembers wanting this fic, but I just had my wisdom teeth out and I need a little fun in my life. I hope this is as fun to read as it was to write.


End file.
